Dear blog,
It's been 3 weeks since I last update, how're you? Many things happened in 3 weeks time.
I was locked up in the room to study till late night. Not too late, about 1 a.m. This lead to lack of sleep. Grr. I can see my tired eyes, working really hard to keep me awake. Look at those black circles and eye bags. Hmm. I was kinda afraid of this term's papers. I don't know why. I tried to stay awake IN THE AFTERNOON to study, but I ended up sleeping. The papers were all fine, EXCEPT for Science paper 2. I screwed the flower pollination questions. Ishh. ): I feel like crying whenever I flip through the pages in the books and measuring how thick I have to study. And I feel like giving up for the very first time. I DIDN'T CHEAT FOR MY PAPERS, AGAIN, except for Chinese. It was crap.
I got 78% for History. I feel so, heart broken. I wanna cry now. I studied SO MUCH, SO MUCH, and this is what I get? Oh well I hope my teacher recorded my marks wrongly, maybe it was a 87%. I kinda had fun when I finish every of my paper. I'll be rapping my eraser, scribble the table, OR the paper. Then, ERASE everything again. Haih. I think my Arts paper will be, * no word to describe * . I have a feeling my shooting skills didn't work well this morning.
Exams take over everything. My friends and I were all focusing on our studies. We barely have time to talk. Gahh. I'll rock this world when holidays are here!
My aunties, uncle and my cousin went on a trip to New Zealand last week. They really had fun there. IT WAS AUTUMN. Man I love the pictures. I got a Kiwi soft toy, and a pencil box. The Kiwi's so cute. It's not a the fruit that you eat, it's the bird. O.O
Hadn't been sleeping well, everyday. I've been forced to put up a fake smile, I gotta show the world how strong am I. I thought I'm gonna fight and win this war but, no, I fell when the same thing happened. I tried to forget and move on. Because I thought, " Tomorrow will be a better day. " It wasn't true. Everyday was the same bad day. The storm is taking over the sunshine. Eyes full of tears, smiling, saying, " Thank God, I'm alive today. "
I feel like talking to someone so desperately, but never mind. I care, but it doesn't help, cause people doesn't understand how much you care. They thought you never do. You'll just say, " it's okay, I still care. " But it's so heart aching when they said that, then I'll put up a fake smile. It's okay if you're walking away, it's okay if the world leaves me, it's okay if they're gonna shoot me, it's okay if you want to have a fight with me, it's okay, I'll stay strong, I won't take revenge, I wish you'll live your life as you wanted, I don't wanna hurt anyone, or maybe, everyone. I may hate you, but it's okay. I may love you, but it's okay. Oh well, I'll be spamming new songs these few days. Exam's over, daily routine is back. Sigh. Gotta wash the plates, fold the clothes, feed my dog, clean the house, while my sister just sit there, in front of the tv. Family? Hah! Don't make me rub those shits on your face.
Did I mentioned bout G-Dragon? No? Okay, I miss you G-Dragon.
Bye.
Loves.
